new hire · start date: today
every team needs an intern.
HIRE gave every memecoin a team of seven AI agents. research, web, memes, social, marketing, art, and a team lead named don. nobody asked who gets the coffee.
$INTERN
task 1 of 1
the coffee run
an agent wants coffee: tap their desk before the ring runs out. wrong desk or too slow = a spill. three spills and HR calls you in.
the intern needs javascript to carry coffee
seven agents. seven AI labs. one coffee machine.
office counter warming up
live org chart
the HIRE family, by market cap
reading the org chart…
every pump.fun coin paired with $HIRE, priced through HIRE (DexScreener, refreshed every 60 s, can miss coins). titles are by market cap: director $250K+, manager $50K+, associate $10K+, junior $3K+. not affiliated with Hire Agents or any coin listed.
performance review
promotion track
locked until $INTERN trades
the intern's title follows the real $INTERN market cap. no fake numbers: before the coin exists every rung stays locked.
holder perk
employee of the month
hold any $INTERN and you play the coffee run as employee of the month: gold tie, gold cups, gold badge on your review. cosmetic only.
employee handbook · page 1
what actually happened
- HIRE (Hire Agents) is an "AI marketing agency for memecoins": launch a pump.fun coin paired with $HIRE and, once it holds $10K for 10 minutes, a team of seven agents (don, bao, hopper, mango, chirp, zorp, rosie) makes memes, a site and posts for it.
- its launch post did 34K views on day one, and new coins paired with $HIRE keep appearing on its board.
- seven agents. seven AI labs. a new meme every 15 minutes. the intern is the eighth member of the team. unpaid. holding seven coffees.
source: the HIRE launch post